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Wat Nou?

‘n Opvoedkundige Sielkundige assesseer, diagnoseer en gee terapie rakende die optimalisering van menslike ontwikkelling en opvoeding op kognitiewe, emosionele, persoonlikheids en neurosielkundige vlakke. Die identifikasie en behandeling van struikelblokke in die bereiking van optimale ontwikkelling en opvoeding vorm ‘n groot gedeelte van hul werk.

 Dear Wat Nou


I am writing to you in the hope that you can help me.


My son has always been a hand full, he has given my husband and me a lot of trouble growing up. I suppose it is the nature of young people today, they do not see the benefit of a good education. Now he wants to leave school and he is only in grade 10.


Both my husband and me have tried to make him see that he needs to stay in school, but he says the school is stupid and can’t teach him anything, he knows it all and can get a job as a mechanic with a grade 10 and won’t go to school anymore. His best friend is working with a mechanic and has money to go out and drink and my son wants to do it as well.  I have tried t tell him that he can get a better job if he has his matric, but he wants to have money to spend on girls and friends.


Please can you tell me how to make him stay in school, we think it is important that he gets his education.


Thanks
Anna

Dear Anna,


Your child has high hopes in becoming a mechanic without a National Senior Certificate! With the current employment situation in South Africa, the minimum requirement for an apprenticeship in Mechanics is a good Grade 12 with Mathematics and Science.


It also seems as if the main influence in his current career choice is his “friend” – leading him down a path to nowhere. A career choice should be based on careful consideration of aptitude, personality and interest, not on what your friend is doing. I would suggest that you have your son assessed by an Educational or Counselling Psychologist to get clarity regarding which career path and school would be best suited to him as an individual. Although costly, such an assessment takes all aspects into consideration and provides a guideline as to which direction would be best suited.


You do not mention what type of school your son currently attends? If your son is interested in mechanics, a technical school might suit him better and cull his rebellion towards school. This would, however, once again depend on his aptitude, personality and interests.

 

Goeie middag Doktor.

Ek het jou artikel in die koerant gesien en soek hulp asseblief. Ek sukkel al twee jaar lank met my dogter en weet nou nie meer wat om te doen. Sy is skaars sestien en het my gevra vir Die Pil, as jy kan glo! Sy’t vir my sommer reguit gese’ sy wil met haar boyfriend slaap en dreig om dit te doen met of sonder pille as ek nie vir haar gaan kry nie. Haar pa wil op die oomblik meet haar praat hieroor – hy is so woedend. Ek is raad op, wat kan ek doen? Ek hoop doktor sal my familie kan help.

Dankie, Anoniem (Machadodorp)

Geagte Anoniem (Machadodorp)

Dit is wonderlik dat jou dogter die vrymoedigheid het om haar beplanning om seks te hê met jou te bespreek. Probeer jou bes om hierdie openlike gesprek tussen julle aan die gang te hou. Ongelukkig besef meeste tieners nie die emosionele letsels wat seks op ‘n té vroeë ouderdom op hulle kan laat nie en is dit ‘n feit dat al meer tieners op ‘n al vroeër ouderdom seksueel aktief raak.


Bespreek met jou dogter die feit dat die Pil nie HIV of enige van die ander seksueel oordraagbare siektes voorkom nie. Hoeveel weet sy van haar kêrel se vorige seksmaats? Is sy bereid om haar lewe en toekoms op die spel te plaas sonder dat sy doodseker is by wie hy al almal geslaap het? Is hy bereid om vir HIV toetse te gaan en te wag vir die uitslae? Indien nie, moet sy dalk sy eerlikheid en “liefde” ernstig in heroorweging neem.


Miskien is ‘n kompromie jou beste opsie – hy laat doen ‘n HIV toets om seker te maak jou dogter sal fisies veilig wees as sy met hom seks het – indien die uitslae negatief terugkom, sal jy haar na die kliniek neem vir geboortebeperking. Dit sal hulle ook meer tyd gee om te dink oor hulle besluit. Jy wil tog nie nou al ‘n ouma word nie?


Ronel Brits
Opvoedkundige Sielkundige
M.Ed. (Opvoedkundige Sielkunde) (Pret.)

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